Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of ScottLinnen's best tweets

@ScottLinnen : Once upon a midnight dreary, While I pondered my next mealy, Came an empty tapping, a rapping at my pantry door. Quoth the Ramen “ever poor”

@ScottLinnen: Someone robbed a Pensacola WallMart of 300 cases of Red Bull. How do these people sleep at night.

@ScottLinnen: Cats are just fuzzy houseplants that hate you.

@ScottLinnen: Riding up in the elevator with a bunch of children. So much screaming & crying. You'd think one of them would ask me what the hell's wrong.

@ScottLinnen: So many haunted "mansions." Sad how this country is killing the middle class ghost.

@ScottLinnen: Wizard of Oz (1939) A hapless brain injured teen is led down the wrong path to heroin, cosplay, organ harvesting and ultimately homicide

@ScottLinnen: Your "COEXIST" sticker inspired me to slip a Madagascar hissing cockroach through your car window at the mall. Peace.

@ScottLinnen: We have a ghost. Came home and found the fridge magnets rearranged: "I see dreadful people."

@ScottLinnen: This club sucks & tell the DJ to lighten up on the Enigma.

SON, YOU PASSED OUT. THIS IS A CATHEDRAL