@Sean_Burgundy_: Imagine how much faster Olympic sprinters could run if they saw their wives going through their phones at the finish line
@Sean_Burgundy_: [ Skydiving ]
Instructor: SIR. You can't just jump out without your equipment on
Me: *Shows him text of gf saying "We need to talk"
@Sean_Burgundy_: Friend: All I want for Christmas is a new blender
Me: Wouldn't you rather have your life together?
@Sean_Burgundy_: Friend: Do I need to repeat myself?
Me: No. I might not be able to ignore you a second time