Funny Tweeter

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Page of Sean_Burgundy_'s best tweets

@Sean_Burgundy_ : *Rides off into sunset *Forgets phone charger *Rides back

@Sean_Burgundy_: [ Skydiving ]

Instructor: SIR. You can't just jump out without your equipment on

Me: *Shows him text of gf saying "We need to talk"

@Sean_Burgundy_: Friend: All I want for Christmas is a new blender

Me: Wouldn't you rather have your life together?

@Sean_Burgundy_: Just for once I wanna be able to explain after I say "I can explain."

@Sean_Burgundy_: Friend: Do I need to repeat myself?

Me: No. I might not be able to ignore you a second time

@Sean_Burgundy_: [ 3 AM ]

Friend: I got a flat and I'm stranded

Me: Do you have snacks in your car?

Friend: No

Me: *Hangs up

@Sean_Burgundy_: Her: Prove that you care about me

Me: *Takes my phone off the charger and plugs in hers

@Sean_Burgundy_: Window repairman: What happened did someone try to break into your house?

Me: No. My gf said we needed to talk

@Sean_Burgundy_: Her: You need to text faster

Me: Not sure what you just sent. I'm still working on the texts from 3 weeks ago