Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of Spaced_Cowboy00's best tweets

@Spaced_Cowboy00 : Me when I’m high: I’ll take seven burritos. Me when I’m not high: I’ll take seven burritos.

@Spaced_Cowboy00: How I flirt with girls:
1. Walk past them 15 times
2. Go home

@Spaced_Cowboy00: A beautiful woman said hi to me at the store and I panicked and said Merry Christmas.

@Spaced_Cowboy00: Women remember something that happened five years ago. I can't remember why I stood up.

@Spaced_Cowboy00: I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

@Spaced_Cowboy00: If you're not sure how to spell a word, there are thousands of English professors on Twitter who will correct you.

@Spaced_Cowboy00: A nice looking girl waved at me earlier today but there was no way I was swimming out that far to save her.