@StarksWeek: "I put on pants for nothing"
- my 10 yo after she got dressed and her soccer game was cancelled.
Someone set up her Twitter account.
@StarksWeek: Me: "you hang up"
Her: "no you hang up"
Me: "no you hang up"
Her: "no y-"
Jail clerk: "sir, you only get one phone call."
@StarksWeek: You can tell Tim Horton's is a Canadian franchise, because my donut just apologized for making me fat.
@StarksWeek: How did we go from crappy gas station coffee to "Yes I'll pay $7 for you to put that in a cup for me"?
@StarksWeek: I've been known to drive women crazy with my tongue.
*never shuts the hell up*
@StarksWeek: "Bluetooth or crazy"
- is a guessing game I play when I see someone talking to themselves on the street. I usually guess wrong.
@StarksWeek: I'm not saying I'm bilingual but if you shout at me in German I'll probably do whatever you want