Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@Terdoh : If I had a brewery I would make an alcoholic drink called "Responsibly".
I wouldn't even have to pay for advertising.
@Terdoh: Me: And what do you do if I tell you I'm having a heart attack?
Siri: I clear your browser history.
Me: That's right darling.
@Terdoh: I got a puppy for my ex. Fair trade.
@Terdoh: Eat, Pray, Love was such a boring movie, I watched it on a plane and people still walked out.
@Terdoh: The Snooze Button: because your first act of the day should be procrastination.
@Terdoh: If you're in a Mexican prison, "Jesus loves you" might not be very comforting words...
@Terdoh: How dare you complain about your life? Someone's mom is Snooki.
@Terdoh: Quit bragging yo. Jesus drove a Honda back in Bible days and said nothing of it.
"For I speak not of my own accord" John 12:49 a.
@Terdoh: I had a dream where children were allowed to pick their parents, and I woke up thinking "This is not The Gates' residence."
@Terdoh: If aliens are only on the quest for intelligent life, then Earth really has nothing to worry about.