@ThaJawn: Doctor: *looking at chart* You need to go for walks more
Doctor: *still looking at chart* and buy more treats
Doctor: *still looking at chart* and leave the toilet seat up
Me: Wait! You're my dog in a lab coat!
@ThaJawn: Cop: Second time this week
Me: I thought I could be brave
C: Yeah I know, this slide is pretty high for you, now just take my hand
@ThaJawn: Kangaroo: *takes baby out of pouch
Me: *takes chapstick out of fanny pack
**simultaneous nods of respect**
@ThaJawn: Judas: You guys coming to the last supper?
Everyone Else: Why'd you call it that?
@ThaJawn: (bank drive thru)
Me: *puts deposit through pneumatic tube
Banker: This is a can of Pringles
Me: Yes, savings please
@ThaJawn: Dad: This note from your calligraphy teacher is very concerning... and stunningly beautiful
@ThaJawn: Vampire: What is this?
Cashier: Pez *showing him how it works* See, the candy comes out of the-
Vampire: NECK! HA HA HA! I MUST HAVE ONE!