Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of TylerLinkin's best tweets

@TylerLinkin : Writing "fake bills" on all my credit card statements and sending them back.

@TylerLinkin: On date night my wife took me to a place where you make your own pottery. I made an urn.

@TylerLinkin: Bacon causes cancer.
Canadian bacon apologizes.

@TylerLinkin: Paris Hilton’s chihuahua Tinkerbell died yesterday. Purses are being held at half-mast.

@TylerLinkin: A news report says hackers stole $1 Billion dollars from banks around the world. And several pens.

@TylerLinkin: I’m stoned. Either the smoke alarm is beeping or the house is backing up.

@TylerLinkin: I saw an image of Jesus in my breakfast burrito. I asked myself, what would Jesus do? And so I ate him. Two hours later... Holy Shit!

@TylerLinkin: I call realtors advertising on bus stop benches and ask them the bus schedule.

@TylerLinkin: What rhymes with Autoerotic Asphyxiation? Writing an obituary is hard.