Funny Tweeter

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Page of VictorscarletJ's best tweets

@VictorscarletJ : *At the bar* Me: What do you have on tap? Bartender: Bud and Bud Light Me: I'll have a Coke.

@VictorscarletJ: 70 yr old boss: i have the body of a fit 30 yr old.
Me: where? Buried in your rose garden?

@VictorscarletJ: Seriously...if you need a sign to remind you to wash your hands after taking a shit or piss. Stay home

@VictorscarletJ: I know we just got divorced, but would you mind showing my girlfriend how to make an omelet the way I like them?