Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of XOperfectmessXO's best tweets

@XOperfectmessXO : I hate it when I fall in love with someone, then the light turns green and they drive away

@XOperfectmessXO: When you search your kid's backpack and find they have a project due tomorrow and wish you would have found drugs instead.

@XOperfectmessXO: You're like a dressing room

You make me want to take my clothes off and try things

@XOperfectmessXO: I'm like a kid. People like me best when I'm quiet or sleeping.

@XOperfectmessXO: Nothing screams passive agressive quite like letting your spouse sleep in, while also letting the kids play loudly outside the bedroom door