Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of _little_old_me's best tweets

@_little_old_me : *deletes my ex's phone number* k, weigh me now.

@_little_old_me: My cat just sniffed my right eye & licked his lips. When I die alone in my house, he'll probably eat that eyeball first.

@_little_old_me: My eyesight is so bad that, after I took my contacts out last night, I chatted to my cat for 5 mins before I realised it was my handbag.