Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of alispagnola's best tweets

@alispagnola : Carpe DM

@alispagnola: There are many different theories about why humans even need to sleep but I'm pretty sure it's to charge our phones.

@alispagnola: I asked my friend what keeps her up at night. She answered, "helium." Also, my friend is a balloon.

@alispagnola: What happens when you retweet a compliment about how humble you are?

@alispagnola: Facebook definitely needs to change their name. Pretty sure books aren't supposed to make you dumber.

@alispagnola: Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you're better off staying home with no pants on.