Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of brennadine's best tweets

@brennadine : [Cat outside bathroom door] LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN I'M DYIIIIING Oh Hi there Thanks for letting me- I'm bored I want out LET ME OUT

@brennadine: It's my favorite time of year, the time when everyone puts their clothes back on and goes inside.

@brennadine: One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.

@brennadine: Thought it would be romantic to recreate the 12 Days of Christmas, but having 23 game birds indoors is actually a hellish nightmare.

@brennadine: Pavlov's bell, but it's me reading an email that I think says winebar when it's actually webinar.

@brennadine: Got Christmas card glitter all over me and now I can't stop stripping.

@brennadine: Hang on guys. My boyfriend told me not to be anxious, so I expect to feel better any moment.

@brennadine: How to Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin
Step 1: Stop wearing other people's skin

@brennadine: At bedtime I read my daughter a few of my favorite RTs, tuck her in & whisper, "This is why we don't talk to strangers on the internet."

@brennadine: [Breakup]
Her: We're just different
Him: How?
Her: Well, you want to hike & camp
Him: And?
Her: And I want to be a cartoon on the internet