Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of cool_as_heck's best tweets

@cool_as_heck : ME: who's a good boy!! DOG: did you just misgender me you genderphobic heteronormative piece of shit ME: what DOG: bark

@cool_as_heck: Date: I like old-fashioned guys
Me: *dies of polio*

@cool_as_heck: OBAMA: your resume says you think of the "best nicknames?"

ME: that's right, Obama-nable snowman *finger guns*

OBAMA: [softly] holy shit

@cool_as_heck: Her: I have Netflix if you wanna come watch a movie :)
Me: No it's ok, I have my own account
[60 years later on deathbed]
Me: Wait a minute

@cool_as_heck: Me: smells like upyou'refreetogo in here.
Cop: what's upyou'refreetogo?
Me: *finger guns* catch ya later
Cop: aww damn lol got me again

@cool_as_heck: Boy: I wish more girls liked farming
Girl: I like farming
Boy: Lol oh yeah? Name the 5 most water-efficient irrigation systems of the 1980s