@danjan13: Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets. Back in my day we rode our bikes without helmets.
@danjan13: Kindly respect my midwestern lifestyle and do not make any crude or irreverent jokes at this time.
@danjan13: My gf 1 month in: haha OMG I love your Twitter. I definitely don't think it's weird, it's so clever!
My gf 2nd month: listen
@danjan13: Swords just aren't naturally "wooooshy" enough for me, that's why I add the noise. That's why I add the noise, Janet.
@danjan13: No, I can't come to your wedding. I just realized the remote works through the blanket.
@danjan13: Good guy in movie shot 3 times: I must save my family
Me, kinda sore from trampoline sesh: sorry gramma can't make it to your 85th bday
@danjan13: Adobe update is ready to install *gazes longingly into the distance*, but I don't think I am.
@danjan13: A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah's ark.