Funny Tweeter

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Page of dlsims01's best tweets

@dlsims01 : Life is like a cup of coffee... No matter how much sugar you put in it, there's always grounds at the end.

@dlsims01: Invitations: $10
Cupcakes: $15
Facility rental: $100

Not having 20 kids in my house: priceless

Math of a mother

@dlsims01: My co worker is so mad at me right now her eyes are bulging out like a pug. I don't know wether to call 911 or scratch her behind the ears.

@dlsims01: A woman always gets the last word in an argument, because anything a man says after that is the first words in a new argument.