Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of dog_feelings's best tweets

@dog_feelings : i have locked myself in the bathroom. do not ask me how it happened. because i don’t have that information. hopefully. my stuffed fren sebastian. has already called. the proper authorities

@dog_feelings: the small neighbor human. is hanging outside with some ice cream. and it is melting. way faster than it is being eaten. the only real solution here. is for me to trot over and help

@dog_feelings: sometimes. i will yawn really big. and soon after. the human will also yawn. i have yet to decide. what to do with my powers

@dog_feelings: my ear. is inside out. and the human. is not home to fix it. i have put the household. on alert level. dark grey.

@dog_feelings: the human. just got home. i have no idea. where they’ve been. but in their absence. they’ll be proud to see. that i took it. upon myself. to redistribute. all the footwear. i could find. throughout the household. because i decided. that was. my duty

@dog_feelings: i hear. a borking. in the distance. this means. i too. must bork. so that everyone knows. i heard. the initial borking. it’s common courtesy

@dog_feelings: the human thinks. i won’t get excited. if they say. doubleyouayellkay. instead of. walk. but guess what. i am excited

@dog_feelings: the human. who snuggled. my human. the other night. is here again. BUT. this time. however. they brought. my fren and i. treats.. we approve