Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of donni's best tweets

@donni : The cops are here, Uncle Dave. Last chance to peacefully return my nose

@donni: Did Counting Crows ever give us a total number of crows

@donni: Sleep is basically free drugs, so people who think you need less sleep are narcs

@donni: Being an adult is cool because sometimes your back hurts and other times a different part of your back hurts

@donni: Music is a scam. You can listen to all kinds of other noises for free

@donni: If I die, please avenge me. If it's an accidental death, just go nuts on whoever.

@donni: Can’t believe I have to spend the rest of my life living the rest of my life

@donni: It’s the freakin’ weekend, baby, I’m about to cancel some plans

@donni: ME: So what's happening today
NEWS: *incoherent screaming*

@donni: Give a man a fish. Sure, why not? Go around giving strangers weird fish gifts. Who cares