Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of emmatheist's best tweets

@emmatheist : Sometimes when my boyfriend makes a racist joke I am like Ugh why did I even imagine you?

@emmatheist: [Google search history]
Moles
How to kill moles
How to make homemade bombs
Rescue moles from cave-in
Dealing with regret
Mole stew

@emmatheist: Unwritten rule: if you find an unconscious security guard you have to drag him to a supply closet and change into his uniform.

@emmatheist: Before I die, I'm putting fake treasure maps behind all my picture frames.
My grand children will be so pwned.