Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of fillthevacuum's best tweets

@fillthevacuum : "The plot thickens" I say as I switch to heavier graph paper.

@fillthevacuum: Please be the blood from a horse's head

Please be the blood from a horse's head

Please be the blo...

Nope, just peed the bed again

@fillthevacuum: Hey girl, heaven must be missing an angel....cause it looks like you ate one

@fillthevacuum: The vegetable crisper or as I call it, the cold garbage can.

@fillthevacuum: Why do we never see "Side effects may include spontaneous happiness, explosive giggling, uncontrollable hugging, and diarrhea"?

@fillthevacuum: Got out of the car and dropped my keys in the gutter. They landed next to my mind, which I thought I'd lost.

@fillthevacuum: You're the last hot dog on the rollers at 7-11 of people.

@fillthevacuum: "Here's the problem... You've got a Pokémon up there"

- me, as a proctologist