Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of fro_vo's best tweets

@fro_vo : [romantic walk] Me: *turns to date* darling Her: *gasps* Me: *gets down on one knee* will you Her: omg Me: protest racial inequality with me

@fro_vo: Me: I don’t know what to do on my date
Friend: show her some local culture


Date: hi
Me: *holds out hands* look at this yogurt

@fro_vo: i catch her eye from across the room
she smiles
i make my way thru the crowd
we meet
"here's your eye back"
thanks nice catch

@fro_vo: Me: what do you get when you cross a bear with a shark
My Dog: bark
Me: wait henry don't give it away

@fro_vo: Friend: what are u doing
Me: training my pet rock
Friend: that's dumb
Pet Rock: *leaps from my hand & hits him in the face*
Me: no rocky, no

@fro_vo: whoever named them missiles wasn't very optimistic

@fro_vo: [restaurant]
Me: waiter, what kind of choy is this
Waiter (who is a chicken): bok

@fro_vo: Me: *deals cards* okay boys what’ll it be
Quarterback: i pass
Roofer: i raise
Telemarketer: i call
Optometrist: i see
Origami Artist: i fold

@fro_vo: Abe Lincoln: write this down
Mary: ok
Abe Lincoln: fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth…okay read it back
Mary: this down

@fro_vo: Me: i never know what to say
Friend: just say something nice


Date: hi
Me: 69