@fuzzlime: I once dated a guy only because he had a cool hidden safe behind a painting in the hallway he kept the spare toilet paper rolls in there
@fuzzlime: last time I passed out on a Saturday night was when I sprayed too much bleach cleaner on the tub & forgot to open a window
@fuzzlime: Men fantasize about me, women want to be me and children obey me!
[wakes up on bathroom rug]
@fuzzlime: god I hope there's no such thing as reincarnation I'm way too tired to do this again
@fuzzlime: purposely bought tall lace up boots so I'll never have to be anywhere on time again