Funny Tweeter

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Page of heatherlou_'s best tweets

@heatherlou_ : I cross my legs because I'm a lady and classy and I really need to pee.

@heatherlou_: Yes, I wear this shirt a lot. It’s my shirt that I purchased and I own a washing machine. Amazing.

@heatherlou_: All these late nights solving solved crimes on forensic files is aging me.

@heatherlou_: I'm not lazy. I wear yoga pants because the urge to work out might hit me. You don't know.

@heatherlou_: Can’t afford the chiropractor so I’m just going to lay down in the road and hope for the best.

@heatherlou_: Why is aggravated murder a charge? There's never like a passive and calm relaxation murder.

@heatherlou_: My friend says her Dr told her she’s underweight but I stopped listening because I cannot relate at all.

@heatherlou_: Planning on buying my daughter a Volvo so she’s safe but with a mismatched door so she gets the struggle.

@heatherlou_: I refuse to dismiss Thanksgiving. Any holiday dedicated to food & stretchy pants is worth celebrating.