Me: I hate this. The bears freak me out.
Him: Babe don't be silly.
Bear, textin from right outside my tent at 3am: u up?
Mrs. Rabbit: Hello?
Mr. McGregor: Your kid's in my yard again.
Mrs. Rabbit: Oh i'm so sorry, is he-
Mr. McGregor: yea he's naked
@iamspacegirl: if squids were land animals sometimes you'd be walking along and you'd look up and BAM squid in a tree
@iamspacegirl: uh NEWS FLASH Keith ur name rhymes w/ teeth.
how do u like them apples Mouth Boy.
How do u like them apples promoting good oral hygiene
@iamspacegirl: Santa: its snowing Christmas is canceled Put everything in the garbage
Rudolph: what if I told you I had a very small red light
@iamspacegirl: which part of the centaur carries the centaur babies is it the lady torso or the horse torso and why can't I stop thinking about this
@iamspacegirl: *brain waking up*
oh god please not again I can't keep existing in this reality
*brain 20 minutes later*
1000000 chameleons is a chamillion
@iamspacegirl: [answering door on halloween]
please stop giving the children hamsters
ME *hands full of hamsters*:
but it's Halloween