@jjhartinger: Just when I thought I had my life together. I found my missing shoe in the microwave.
@jjhartinger: Hubs: Columbus discovered America not asking for directions so why do I.
Me: He set out for India and went the wrong way.
@jjhartinger: [Commercial for Legos]
Have you ever cursed in front of your kids? Want to?
@jjhartinger: I just spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to spell Wednesday, so I canceled the event.
@jjhartinger: 1995: [goes to store, video is rented] Maybe next time
2017: [netflix takes 5 mins to load] This is a nightmare
@jjhartinger: Some of you are acting like you got off a flight from Australia instead of losing one hour.
@jjhartinger: This new generation doesn't knock they just text to say they're outside, so I text back to say we're inside. Two can play.