Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of jnrbtsn's best tweets

@jnrbtsn : The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.

@jnrbtsn: Based on the condition of my hair in the morning, I'd say there's a 100% chance my hair has more fun than I do when I sleep.

@jnrbtsn: I don't discriminate among size guys.

Personally my favorite is 3 inches and goes by the name visa, mc, or amex.

@jnrbtsn: Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I'm ready now.

@jnrbtsn: Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.

@jnrbtsn: If you open a door for me, I will lick you. Sometimes it's awkward.

@jnrbtsn: I'm far too cute to only have one ex-husband.

@jnrbtsn: He said he liked surprises, but when I showed up late at night dressed as a clown and knocked on his window, it's all screaming and shit.