@joshcomers : Friend from out of town asked if he could crash on my couch. Had to explain to him that I'm married now, so that's where I sleep.
@joshcomers: "Where do you see yourself in 5 lives?" (Dalai Lama job interview)
@joshcomers: Can't find my belt so I'll just need to get fatter.
@joshcomers: MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it's like they had those babies for nothing.