Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of jtrulez's best tweets

@jtrulez : To successfully fight a bear, strike it firmly in the sternum with an open palm. Congratulations. You are now fighting a bear.

@jtrulez: She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting.

- Why my mystery novel failed

@jtrulez: Fear does not exist in this dojo. And neither does air conditioning or proper ventilation, so you will all be sparring in your underwear.

@jtrulez: If your child builds a snow fort, by law, they have to move out and reside in it.

@jtrulez: Having my oil changed today, but I need proof it's really changed. I've been hurt by oils before & I'm not going through that again.

@jtrulez: Oh LinkedIn, what juicy tidbits do you have for me today? *raises monocle* Stanley added a skill?! HAHA! That is most delightful! *sips tea*

@jtrulez: Please Choose a Sears Portrait Background:

1. Autumn Leaves
2. Toenail Fungal Infection
3. Country Cabin
4. Alarmed Possum