@liv_thatsme: If you can't say anything nice, do what I do: say something that seems nice but later, they're like, "hey, that wasn't nice." Buy some time.
@liv_thatsme: Sometimes I wish I were Dorothy, because I really like dogs and also because I want to crush someone with a house.
@liv_thatsme: me: i don't get why no one falls in love with me
person: wanna go on a date?
@liv_thatsme: "Got a dog."
Me:WHAT BREED? WHAT COLOR? WHAT'S HIS NAME? HOW BIG ARE HIS PAWS? IS HE A GOOD BOY? DOES HE SNUGGLE?
"Had a baby."
Me (to my 4 year old nephew): I think I heard someone break in; will you go check?
@liv_thatsme: Hey, small cars: stop masquerading as empty parking spaces. You're enraging us all.
@liv_thatsme: Me *gets interrupted mid-sentence*
"Oh, hey sorry; finish your story."
Me *employing my usual level of maturity*: No I don't want to now.
@liv_thatsme: "Don't you wish you had children?"
Me: Don't you wish you had money, free time, & sanity?