Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of loribuckmajor's best tweets

@loribuckmajor : Wrapping gifts and one kid has more than the other so to even it up I hope she likes this bag of potatoes.

@loribuckmajor: Posted a photo of my clean house on Facebook and it was flagged as fake news.

@loribuckmajor: Ok you with pneumonia, go sit between the perfectly healthy lady and the guy with the blood shooting out of his leg

and wait.

-hospitals

@loribuckmajor: Each time my husband yells for the Warriors an angel (me) uses his credit card.

@loribuckmajor: Made plans to exercise with a friend and now I have to go get in a car accident.

@loribuckmajor: After exercising and eating right all week on Saturday I'm like the Kool-Aid man running into Chipotle.

@loribuckmajor: Based on Harrison's choice of best place to land, golfers are the most dispensable.

@loribuckmajor: "HOW MUCH FOR THE GREEN SMART CAR?"

"Ma'am, that's a watermelon"

@loribuckmajor: Putin takes over entire world while everybody searches for the missing plane.