@lyric_intent: [Broken Air Conditioner]
Her:*sweaty* how did the pioneers ever survive without A/C?
*sweating audibly* well, they're all dead, aren't they?
@lyric_intent: The most awkward part of being the first person to write something down, was then explaining to everyone that they were now illiterate
@lyric_intent: [Bank Robbery]
Robber: KEEP YOUR HANDS UP OR I'LL SHOOT EVERY ONE OF YOU!
*Friends theme begins to play over PA*
*Everyone sweats nervously*
@lyric_intent: Peoples whose sliding closet doors never come off their tracks, what do you do with the rest of your dark magic?
@lyric_intent: It doesn't matter how up-to-date your donor card is, the hospital gets really judgey when you drop off a liver unannounced.