@mellimelle: It's the year 2057, humans are shaped like candy canes from years of looking down at their phones. Striped-clothing is always in fashion.
@mellimelle: Find a penny, pick it up. All day long you'll wtf, that thing is filthy. Wash your hands immediately.
@mellimelle: I spend 90% of my life trying to do the right thing and the other half wondering why I don't understand Math.
@mellimelle: The older I get, the more I realize nobody is better than I am.
Except people with statues of lions outside their house. They rule.
@mellimelle: Just because I'm Irish doesn't mean I am always drunk. It means I always want to be.
@mellimelle: Packing for a trip, Husband says I don't need to overpack. It is so cute how he thinks I'm coming back.
@mellimelle: In case anyone asks, we found these dead hookers while we were digging holes in the woods.