@mishakey: If you stop at a yellow light I'm going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
@mishakey: I can tell a police officer is gay by the way he writes me a ticket instead of letting me off with a warning.
@mishakey: Nothing terrifies me more than hearing, "Mommy close your eyes I have a present."
@mishakey: Going to meet my daughter's kindergarten teacher tonight. Her name is Miss Cox. Not sure I'm mature enough for this situation.
@mishakey: I can't help but notice that the Ninja Turtles never wash their hands before eating pizza in the sewer.
@mishakey: Don't forget to check your backseat for murderers! Haha! No, but seriously bring me a coke it's hot in here.