Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of mofrorock's best tweets

@mofrorock : "Nice legs" *Swipes right* "Nice legs" *Swipes right* "Nice legs" *Swipes right* "Nice legs" *Swipes right* - Spider tinder

@mofrorock: Personal ad: Handsome man (29), seeks short, open minded women to poke him in the eye with umbrellas. Busy streets only. No names please.

@mofrorock: "Of course you're the prettiest girl here, you just need to talk louder" - alcohol

@mofrorock: Marvel's latest movie franchise follows an aging Peter Parker as he swaps crimefighting for medical studies in Spiderman: WebMD

@mofrorock: What idiot called it Canada and not the US of Eh?

@mofrorock: Things you can't touch:

1. Happines
2. The Easter Bunny
3. Your wife's sister
4. This

@mofrorock: "You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like

@mofrorock: A prickle of porcupines
A murder of crows
A flamboyance of flamingos
A twitter of depressed, alcoholic perverts
A shrewdness of apes
A parla

@mofrorock: "Two's company, three's a crowd" - people who've never seen a crowd