Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of oscarewilde's best tweets

@oscarewilde : [Wild West car dealership] cowboy: what kind of car do you sell? dealer: audi cowboy: yeah hi what kind of car do you sell?

@oscarewilde: kate bush: [running up that road]
me, a personal trainer: okay
kate bush: [running up that hill]
me: alright
kate bush: [running up that building]
me: kate

@oscarewilde: [therapists office]
my wife: i have a fear of giants
me: she has f-
marriage counsellor:
me:
my wife: don't you dare say it
me: Feefiphobia

@oscarewilde: 6. MY FAVOURITE TEXT POST OF ALL TIME PROBABLY

@oscarewilde: doctor: do you have any questions?
me: would a lucky talisman made of eggs be called an omulette?
doctor: i meant about your antidepressants