@oscarewilde: kate bush: [running up that road]
me, a personal trainer: okay
kate bush: [running up that hill]
kate bush: [running up that building]
@oscarewilde: [therapists office]
my wife: i have a fear of giants
me: she has f-
my wife: don't you dare say it
@oscarewilde: doctor: do you have any questions?
me: would a lucky talisman made of eggs be called an omulette?
doctor: i meant about your antidepressants