Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of pakalupapito's best tweets

@pakalupapito : Me: Treat yo self My Bank Account: DO NOT TREAT YO SELF

@pakalupapito: i wish i lost weight as fast as i lose motivation

@pakalupapito: i’m not “cute” awkward. i’m “what the hell is wrong with you” awkward.

@pakalupapito: roses r red

violets r blue

sunflowers r yellow

i bet u were expecting someting romantic but no this is just gardening facts

@pakalupapito: 2 reasons why im fat

1) i eat when I'm bored
2) im always bored

@pakalupapito: i need a reasonably paying job. something like $6,000 an hour, nothing too wild.

@pakalupapito: i want all the extra fat on my body to fall off and turn into $65,000 cash

@pakalupapito: Friend: what time do you usually go to bed?

Me: 10:30ish sometimes 4