Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of pattymo's best tweets

@pattymo : Just came across my proto-Simpsons shitpost from 2015, approximately one million years ago

@pattymo: BREAKING: ISIS just announced that they’re gonna stop doing Sharia. Thank you to the 40 people who went to the March Against Sharia

@pattymo: After every one of Benedict Cumberbatch's lines in DR. STRANGE, turn to your neighbor & say "I guess that's why they call him Dr. Strange"

@pattymo: "And the guy's name was Anthony WEINER? Come on" - high school AP U.S. history student, 2046

@pattymo: GOOD COP: Crazy girlfriend? I know how THAT is
BAD COP: He's trying to get on your side so you confess
GOOD COP: Jesus Christ, Frank

@pattymo: Sinbad isn’t just a comedian’s name - it’s also an extremely short summary of The Bible

@pattymo: *cocks shotgun* I asked you a question: in order to ride a pug would you rather be shrunk to its size or have it grown to your size

@pattymo: AMERICAN SNIPER is, without a doubt, the most violent entry in the AMERICAN PIE series

@pattymo: Idea: maybe the police force for a town of 20,000 shouldn't have access to weapons you ordinarily need cheat codes to get