Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of robotrowboat's best tweets

@robotrowboat : Wolverine’s mom: If you’re going out take your brother with you Wolverine: But Mom he’s so weird Listerine: Nothing weird about fresh breath

@robotrowboat: Hi Barbara? Yeah I just saw the posters you put up and no, I have not seen your cat but I'd love to. Is now a good time to come take a look?

@robotrowboat: Please put away that scary photo, Tina.
That's my X-ray.
I'm not sure what’s worse: the fact you dated a skeleton or that its name was Ray.

@robotrowboat: [death row]
Okay Johnson, it’s time. Any last requests?
Pardon me?
I said it’s time, any last—ah I see what you did there, Johnson. Good one

@robotrowboat: Starting to think that adult supervision is a myth. In fact, my eyes seem to be getting worse.