@sarah1mc: When I get murdered the neighbors will be on the news like, "Wow, I can't believe it took so long."
@sarah1mc: I hate when I'm telling my best friend a story and she gets all judgmental and walks off to get a drink from her water bowl.
@sarah1mc: Oh, you wash your clothes each time you wear them? Well la de da, your majesty.
@sarah1mc: I should probably see someone about my mental health, like a drug dealer or bartender or something.