Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of shutupmikeginn's best tweets

@shutupmikeginn : Just saw an eagle swoop down and pick up a baby bunny, so cute when animals are friends!

@shutupmikeginn: I’m not scared of clowns, I’m scared of the man who chooses to become one.

@shutupmikeginn: I think most “Emergeny Exit Only - Alarm Will Sound” doors are bluffing, but I’m too much of a coward to find out.

@shutupmikeginn: If Sherlock is such a great detective why does it take him 90min to solve a crime when CSI detectives do it in an hour minus commercials??

@shutupmikeginn: Just saw IT. Cool movie, but I gotta ask: what was up with that clown?? Killing kids? Not good.

@shutupmikeginn: Waiter you misunderstand me. I didn't say “I need a Mountain Dew: Code Red.” I was letting you know how badly I need a regular Mountain Dew.

@shutupmikeginn: Sometimes I wonder how air conditioners actually make air colder, bet i could learn online but then i think no mike, best not rock the boat.

@shutupmikeginn: Don’t sweat it McGregor, after failing attempting the wrong sport you’re 8950% more likely to be asked to save the world by a cartoon bunny.

@shutupmikeginn: "Are you left handed?" - people who see me writing with my left hand, curious if I am just doing it for show.

@shutupmikeginn: Gonna need you to finish your story real quick so i can tell you how the same thing happened to me, but its more interesting cause i’m in it