@superdadatron: *Opens fridge
*Sees chocolate bar with a note "please don't eat me".
*Eats chocolate bar
Now who would want to eat a piece of paper?
@superdadatron: My wife is in a bad mood. I think her boyfriend forgot their anniversary. Way to go, dude. Now we all suffer...
@superdadatron: Ok everybody. Please look in your bedroom closet. I got my stalking notes mixed up and don't know where I am.
@superdadatron: Hope you don't mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
@superdadatron: Lies I'll never stop telling:
1. I'd never put you in a home, mom.
2. It's 6 inches long.
3. I have no idea how the PC got a virus.
@superdadatron: I'm gonna cook tons of bacon, crush it up and sell it for extra money to support my family.