Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of thrillhicks's best tweets

@thrillhicks : I’ll smash someone’s car window on a hot day if I see they’ve left a chocolate bar melting inside.

@thrillhicks: I’ve accepted that I’ll never know how that M+ button on a calculator works.

@thrillhicks: If we’re out of croutons, I’ll just turn the toaster upside down and shake it over my salad.

@thrillhicks: I ran into the guy who delivered my pizzas a couple nights ago at a concert and he didn’t even remember who I was. Never meet your heroes.

@thrillhicks: I saw my Subway artist drinking absinthe in the alley behind the shop. This sandwich gonna be a masterpiece.