@wickedimproper: ARUGULA is my favorite vegetable whose name sounds like a car horn from the 50's.
@wickedimproper: Sometimes when I want to make my girlfriend feel skinny, I just release about 25% of her from the air valve.
@wickedimproper: Day One, living in one of those tiny houses: "Well, isn't this quaint?"
Day Two: Murder
@wickedimproper: Note to the 82 year old widow who won the Powerball jackpot last night:
@wickedimproper: St. Peter: "Spock?"
Leonard Nimoy: "I'm Leonard. Spock was just a character I played on TV."
St. Peter: "HEY EVERYBODY! IT'S SPOCK!"