@senderblock23: *uses ipad as a phone* Hey look at me i'm a hobbit
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@MikeCanRant: if you hold a turtle shell up to your ear you can hear a turtle biting on your ear you dumb idiot
@Manda_like_wine: In my dream I see us all standing together, throwing away differences and rallying for the abolition of mayo escape-holes in loaf bread.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Everyone romanticizes the past until they get horribly sick and wake up covered in leeches.
@decentbirthday: *dancing with the stars* *all of a sudden there's a fault in our stars* me(to stars): what the hell guys? we practiced this! *star wars*