@senderblock23: *uses ipad as a phone* Hey look at me i'm a hobbit
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@MyPornKhan: Ok, I'll admit it, my choice of words is sometimes influenced by which ones I think I can spell correctly.
@MarlonBrandNO: [DATE] ME: I'm a literature buff HER: who do you read? ME: read? *cut to me bench pressing like 70 copies of The Great Gatsby*
@solommb: My car has the innate super power of knowing when I have any extra money and spontaneously breaking down.
@michaelianblack: When Pink Floyd sings, "just another brick in the wall," it's a little bit demeaning to bricks.