@marcusparkersol: Using the toilet on the airplane means I'm certified to teach yoga now.
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@AimeeHelene1: *brings bucket of fried chicken in meeting* *meeting starts* *I eat each piece, crunching, licking my fingers* *touches all the paper work*
@robfee: Dang girl are you the American health care system because if I don't give you all my money you'd have no problem watching me die.
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: Your life insurance premium paid up? Me: Yeah. Wife: Good. Me: Why? Wife: No reason. Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Here, taste this.