@Mr_Kapowski: Usually when I try to be slick and say "keep the change," the money I've handed over doesn't cover what I'm trying to purchase
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@ArfMeasures: WIFE: Let's role-play ME: OK W: U be a teacher *I get up & leave* W: Where u going? M: Do u have ANY idea how much paperwork I've got to do?
@KalvinMacleod: GENIE: u have 5 wishes ME: don't u mean 3 wishes? GENIE: usually but it seems like u have a lot of problems
@jnrbtsn: The worst part about being single is always doing what I want. Anytime. Anywhere. With whomever. That sucks.
@mikeleffingwell: DOCTOR: Does it hurt when I do this? *takes you out several times then acts distant*