@PaperWash: Video games should be banned. My son just threw a turtle shell at a walking mushroom then disappeared down a green tube. Someone call 911.
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@Reverend_Scott: Fun Fact: Over 23.6% of relationships fail because one of the partners doesn't like The Princess Bride.
@JVarsityCaptain: My ex can't take his new girlfriend to basketball games because she gets pissed when the whole stadium makes fun of her by yelling REBOUND!
@novicefather: I save an average of $5 per tank of gas by filling up at Costco. I'll have enough saved to buy a house in about 1,200 years.
@SomthinBoutSara: If you get a text from me that ends in a stream of emojis, my mother has stolen my phone DO NOT ENGAGE