@Jam453Lane: Vodka doesn't care about your 70's bush...
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@Brampersandon_: [pharmacy] "Can I help you?" Yeah, could you recommend anything over the counter for this? *lifts shirt to reveal 7 fresh gunshot wounds*
@hbreaker9999: My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him.
@awescar: *rips finished page from adult coloring book* *puts it on daughter's toy kitchen fridge*
@CarouselMouse: APOLLO: I'll be god of the sun HERMES: OK I'll take light- A: I'm also light ARTEMIS: I'll take music A: No I'm also music. That's me too