@o__0Dev: VW have got in2 trouble 4 falsifying data, apparently this is not d first time the Germans have been found guilty of lying abt gas emissions
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@NOTVIKING: date: so what are your hobbies? me: [remembering women like sensitive guys] i train rescue dogs [remembering they also like bad boys] to fight
@LifeStricken: [Job Interview] HR : What do you consider your biggest weakness? Me : (pulls out machete) *whispers under my breath "I can't forgive people"
@ScobeyWanKenobi: Just called the number of a guy I met last night and a pizza place answered. I didn't even know you could live in pizza places. I'm in love!