@o__0Dev: VW have got in2 trouble 4 falsifying data, apparently this is not d first time the Germans have been found guilty of lying abt gas emissions
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@Token_Geezer: The amount of time my phone spends plugged in you may as well call it a landline
@gerryhallcomedy: A girl named Ruth quit working at our office. I've been referring to the office as "ruthless" since then. People are pissed.
@ilovepie84: I've replaced my neighbors toothpaste with Napalm, and left him a free pack a cigarettes. Now we wait.