@Mrs_Cunninghamm: Wait a second ... Water parks have restrooms ... For what?!
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@inojperez: [Family Dinner] Me: Grandma, please pass the updog. Sister: *Pinches bridge of her nose* Grandma: What's updog? Me: Not much, how about you?
@mattZillaaaa: [job interview] HR: Says here you're very good at multi-tasking *me taking a selfie & spinning in chair HR: *whispering "wow he's good"
@kumailn: "You calling them Nazis is what turned them into Nazis." I've been calling my cat a "gorgeous little muffin" for years so now I'm terrified.
@BuckyIsotope: Were PacMan and Ms.PacMan married or brother and sister? Have some fanfic that's either really awesome or really disturbing riding on this.