@orny_xo: Wait, Fellatio isn't a flavor of ice cream?!
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@drinksmcgee: Someone just told me that they hate bacon... I can't even find words... It's like someone just murdered a rainbow.
@muyrando: *job interview* Wonka: Any questions? Oompa Loompa: So we just go out and start singing whenever a kid dies?
@hunz74: My twins hate to brush their teeth. So I just convinced them that it's fun to brush someone else's teeth. Problem solved.
@GrantTanaka: [bruce wayne falls into a cave inhabited by a hibernating bear & things turn out very differently]